June 4, 2009 at 2:30 am Charlie
Entry filed under: Charlie Harding. Tags: charlie, elevator pitch, starr.
Honduras Initiative Trip ’09: Post 2 (5/23) Drawing inspiration from each other
selsner | June 7, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Great job! You pack in a lot of information into only 53 seconds, and I went from having almost no knowledge about Asset Map to being able to describe your project to another person. That means your video is succeeding as a tool for information.
A few suggestions:
Tone – I know this is hard, but try to make your pitch more conversational. You spoke slowly and clearly, which is good, but I think this can me less formal and more engaging if you act as if you’re speaking to only one person rather than giving a presentation (finding that balance is incredibly difficult).
Content – At one point you said “We have X number of organizations totaling X number of people, which means more than 100 people at each NGO.” I think the statistic would be more impressive if you said “X number of organizations with over 100 people, totaling X number of people who are served by / collaborate with Asset Map.”
Also, at the end you mentioned the value of linking donors and organizations. I think it would be worthwhile to briefly explain why that more direct partnership is good and what actually comes out of the relationships through Asset Map.
Again, good work. You sold me on the idea quite quickly!
David Schwartz | June 20, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Really solid pitch. Clear and steady. I think your pacing went really well, and I agree with the comment above about tone. I think you lost a bit in that steadiness–I didn’t hear how exciting it is.
Another thing I would think about is your use of words. One thing I think we all struggle with is keeping a balance between using hot buzz words that we want folks to remember and letting our core message get swallowed by jargon that most people can’t relate to.
One thing that is so great about asset map is how intuitive it is. People/organizations often have a lot of gaps they need to fill, and they also, potentially, have a lot to offer one another…the missing link is that there is now way to match those offerings with those needs. Obviously you know this, but perhaps you could be even more explicit about how you’ll help the Uganda refugee camp beyond “helping them to leverage their assets to create more collaboration”
Anyhow, solid post. I know in real life you’d be looser–it’s funny staring into that dot.
Hope your summer is going well!
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